The Mind of a Child

[00:00:00] Leslie Corbell: Hello, I'm Leslie Dudley Corbell. And I'm Diane Doucette Matthews, welcome to the Mind of a Child.

We are so glad you've joined us today. You know, a few weeks ago, actually, about a month ago, Diane and I dropped everything and went out to a panty garden. Now, this garden had been there. Ever since I've lived in this area, but I had never actually gone. Had you gone down there? No, I

[00:00:34] Diane Matthews: had never gone either.

That's why I was so excited.

[00:00:37] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. And it's so crazy because it's beautiful. We found out there are over 600 peony bushes out there that this man brought with him when he moved here from OUTTA state. And afterwards I called my family and I was like, oh, you all have to come out here. But it got me thinking, why had I never been.

Why had I never taken the time for something that was so beautiful and so close to my [00:01:00] town? Why had I never taken the time to go out there before?

[00:01:03] Diane Matthews: I know. And it was so memorable. I'll never forget it because I was so surprised. I remember how far back out in the woods we went and we thought we got lost, but we found it and then it was so beautiful.

And same question, how many times have we not. Experience, just, you know, memorable things because we just got sidetracked or busy or whatever, and some are such a good time to slow down and have those unstructured times and experience those, but yet we don't do it.

[00:01:37] Leslie Corbell: I think about, as you mentioned, the distractions and how busy we get.

Mm-hmm. I think sometimes too, expectations, what are the expectations I have for my children? What do I think society expects me to do? Mm-hmm. In the summer with my children, I think a lot of those things can just get as caught up and overwhelmed. We miss these small things.

[00:01:56] Diane Matthews: Yeah. What we think our kids need [00:02:00] and what are the expectations.

And I think those are two key words, expectations and needs. And so what do you think some expectations and needs are?

[00:02:10] Leslie Corbell: I think that a lie that I believe sometimes is that I need to entertain my children all the time. Mm, that's right. They must be entertained. And so I'm gonna schedule, schedule, schedule the day and the week.

So that they are entertained and we never have a down moment. That's right.

[00:02:26] Diane Matthews: Not only do we schedule, schedule, schedule things, but we also think that they need to have their friends over all the time, you know? So even, you know, like a 2-year-old, 3-year-old, 4-year-old, you know, have friends over all the time.

If not, you know, they're gonna lose or miss that social interaction. Well,

[00:02:43] Leslie Corbell: what are some truths really though? Yeah. Let,

[00:02:45] Diane Matthews: let's, let's share some truths here. Well, one thing is, and there's many sources, and we're not gonna list 'em all that agree on this, that between the birth. Five and even seven [00:03:00] years old.

This is the most important time in your child's life. The biggest influencers and teachers in their lives are. Parents or caregivers. So that's a really short period of time. And so for us to guard that time and embrace that time and realize that it's not the activities, it's not the the friends or entertaining them, they need you.

They need you to invest in their life and they need you to have that time with them to let them discover things. Okay?

[00:03:37] Leslie Corbell: So here's the first little tip we have for you. Children need unstructured discovery time. They don't need scheduled activities Constantly. When my children were little, they would go outside and play and, and I'm talking even two, three, and four, and I would go outside with them, but I wouldn't hover.

I had a little garden bench to sit on, and so we had this little area that the children [00:04:00] called the secret garden, and in this secret garden there were walkways and paths and rocks. There was even a rock called the that they called the thinking rock. And it was just so sweet. And then we had an area of bamboo, and that was the bamboo forest, and they would wander through it.

And so I think it's really important that children have those times that they can explore, create their own little world. And everything is very small and at their eye level. And it's just really a lovely time. And I, I encourage you to let your children play and to not hover to be near when they're very young.

To give them that space. I love that you've named these spots. Tell us a little bit about the thinking rock. Yeah, so there were just rocks outside in the yard, and there was one that was big and it was flat and you could sit on it. Mm-hmm. And so the children would sit on it and, and in fact there is still a little bit of paint on one of them.

I don't know if someone. If it was a marker that someone used on it, but it was just the thinking rock. [00:05:00] They just named it that they just, they just want, they just explored and discovered and found themselves there sometimes to think. Okay, and

[00:05:05] Diane Matthews: I love

[00:05:06] Leslie Corbell: that you named everything

[00:05:07] Diane Matthews: or they named everything.

Yeah. What's the benefit of

[00:05:09] Leslie Corbell: this? I'm gonna come this two angles. Okay. So we can see the benefits as a parent, as as a person. We can see exploration and discovery. Time is good for us to follow our own interests, to explore and discover and see and be given that time. That's good for all of us. And there are studies that show that this is how children learn and how they explore.

And there are even studies, this was outta Norway and it talked about when children had time to go outside in green spaces and play, there was a reduction in behaviors associated with A DHD. And so they were seeing less of this. Just being outside gives us that opportunity to just relax. To settle in and you didn't have to have a large area.

So while we had a yard to play in, they saw benefits even just from very small green spaces, very small areas with potted plants and [00:06:00] dirt, just things that children got, children out in nature.

[00:06:03] Diane Matthews: You know, just going back to the A DH adhd, the diagnosis and the symptoms are on such a rise right now in our culture.

That's right. There is such a, an important key. Mm-hmm. Just to get your children outside. Yeah. And let them discover and play and be creative. Uh, I love that. I'm so glad you mentioned that. That's very important.

[00:06:26] Leslie Corbell: I think you can even take infants outside. So let's take a quilt. Oh yeah. You know, in the shade somewhere.

And just let them get that fresh air and be in the green space, fresh air, and be outside.

[00:06:34] Diane Matthews: Yeah. There's something about God's creation, huh? Yes. And we're gonna, we're gonna talk about that. We're gonna talk about that later too. Yeah. Yeah. So I love the idea of unstructured discovery and we've come up with a, a, a few other ideas, but another idea, you know, if you have children older than infants, for sure.

With my children growing up, we used to have like theme days and one. Uh, it's a good opportunity to have loose [00:07:00] structure, but you still have some kind of plan for them to be creative and you're not controlling the environment so they can still discover and they don't feel controlled. That learning still taking place.

So one of our favorite ones was. Water day and Wednesday water day is a good way to do it. Just put out anything that has to do with water, slip and slides, pools, sprinklers, cups, measuring cups, bubbles. You know, you can even do water paints, but just let them explore and you know, don't hover. Go at their pace and have a great time.

You'll be surprised at how much they enjoy that. And, and if you want, and they'll probably want you to join in, let them even get you wet and even hand them a hose. It's just a fun, fun time. You know, your children. So if it's too many items out there and they're being overwhelmed, just remove some and just put a few.

Mm-hmm. So that's a, that's an idea [00:08:00] with that one. Another theme day that my kids liked. Especially my oldest one, but all of them joined in, I think I named it here, was Moving Machines Day. But really he liked anything with wheels. So there was a park close to railroad tracks. And so we'd pack a lunch and we'd go over over to this park and we'd wait for the trains to come by and we'd try to encourage and we'd blow the horns and a lot of times we got 'em to, then we'd go to the John Deere store.

And then on the way home, go to a construction site. But just anything with wheels, you can go to airport and look at that. You know, just have the whole day around whatever you wanna name it, but you, you wanna do something that will interest your children and don't make it, you know, real structured. Make it loose.

Keep it loose so that they can ask their questions and be creative. So that's an idea. You can have a sports day, you know, same thing. Ride your bikes, go play baseball, kickball, you know, anything real loose and real fun. [00:09:00] But you wanna have those in your pocket. You know, just to have something, if your kids are, it's good for your kids to be bored.

So it's not like if your kids are bored, but just to have something for your kids to do. So you'll talk about novelties. Mm-hmm. But just keep them creative and discovering and interests and, and fun, but rainy days, that's one more thing our kids. Love to play in the rain, and I encourage that. My mother always encouraged me to also let 'em go outside what you were talking about earlier, learning by just watching a leaf float down a creek or building something that's gonna float.

It's just so fun. Or if they're inside, if it's lightning, watch the drops, the raindrops coming down the window and see which one's gonna get down first. So there's so many things. And then when you're at the store, when it's not a rainy day, pick some crafts so that you're ready for 'em. Have a discovery box, a

sensory box.

Just be [00:10:00] prepared for those times.

Yeah. And what I hear you saying is it's good for

[00:10:07] Leslie Corbell: children, as you said, it's okay to be bored and it's Yes. Children thrive on, they can make their own games. They can make their own activities. And so what I hear you saying is use this kind of a loose framework sometimes. Mm-hmm. To add some novelty into it.

If you want to change things up a little bit and then let your children explore with those items.

[00:10:25] Diane Matthews: Yeah. Don't tell them what to do. Right. I mean, 'cause that will really limit what they learn.

[00:10:31] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. 'cause we've talked about a study one time too, that when adults show children watch, do, or tell 'em what to do, that it actually impedes their exploration.

But if you just make it available to them, they'll find things to do. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I I love that. I love that. You know, and I think it's important too, and we kind of hinted at this earlier with Romans one 20, so I wanna read that right now real quick. Since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes, his eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen [00:11:00] being understood through what has been made so that they are without excuse.

You know, our God is a God of self revelation. He reveals himself to us through many, many ways, and one of the ways is in creation. And so I think allowing our children to just be outside in creation. That's right, to revel. In all that he has created and done and all the blessings is a wonderful opportunity to teach your children.

And so, you know, in these activities, you know, anytime that it arises, you can always point back to God in that moment and you and thank him for these blessings of water or talk about Jesus as a living water. Everything points back to him. And so any language that you give to that,

[00:11:44] Diane Matthews: two things, two thoughts I have.

We had some friends come up from New Orleans, some friends of ours, and. My husband loves to ask questions, and one of the questions was if you had something to redo or if you could, if you had the opportunity to redo it, what would it be? [00:12:00] And one of the couples said, I would've pointed my kids more to scripture.

I. And so that's exactly what you were just talking about. Mm-hmm. Then you talking about that reminded me of, uh, our big garden when my kids were younger, we had this huge vegetable garden, and so there's so many lessons in a garden in the soil, and, you know, you think about a garden that's really dear to God's heart.

I mean, his creation started in the garden. The Garden of Eden. Any kind of growing in anything like that is, is just opportunities to teach your children.

[00:12:36] Leslie Corbell: And I'm so glad you said that because that ties in perfectly to something I've wanted to share. Yeah. I was reading in Matthew all about the parable of the sower, and it got me thinking about how the soil, we're gonna go into it in a little bit, but how the soil is a foundation.

Now, God is a sovereign God and only he can change your heart and only he cultivates the soil. But [00:13:00] we do join him in the process. And so we wanted to read this and think about the different soils that are there.

[00:13:07] Diane Matthews: So lemme get, so Matthew 13, I. Three through nine, and he spoke many things to them in parables, saying, behold the sower went out to sow and he sowed.

Some seeds fell beside the road and the birds came and ate them up. Others fell on rocky places where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up because they had no depth of soil. But when the sun had risen. They were scorched and because they had no soil, they withered away. Others fell among the thorns and the thorns came up and choked them out, and others fell on the good soil and yielded a crop.

Some a hundred fold, some 60 and some 30. He who has ears let him hear.

[00:13:57] Leslie Corbell: And then I'm gonna go ahead and read. [00:14:00] Matthew 1318 through 23. When Jesus explains the parable here, then the parable of the sower, when anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart.

This is the one on whom seed was sown beside the road, the one on whom seed was sewn on the rocky places. This is the man who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy. Yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary. And when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls away and the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word and the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word and it becomes unfruitful.

The one on whom seed was sown on the good soil. This is the man who hears the word [00:15:00] and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and brings forth some a hundred fold, some 60 and some 30. So what is good soil here? It's a heart prepared for God. So we hear and understand him. And again, rest assured we have a sovereign God.

He reveals himself to whom he reveals himself. Mm-hmm. And so we really are just laying a foundation, preparing a soil, presenting a soil, caretaking a soil for his kingdom. So let's think about what makes good soil. Nutrients that it needs free of weeds, water. Mm-hmm. And a balance. So summer can be, if we think about it this way, summer can be a time for preparing the soil of your children.

Mm-hmm.

[00:15:49] Diane Matthews: Well, and I like what you've said before, it was really clever because it made me think, remember this preparing. You're weeding. You're tending and you're irrigating. And I thought, [00:16:00] I can remember that, you know, I could apply that to myself and help, you know, prepare my grandchildren now. But I, I really thought that was so clever.

So, and, and I think you've said this before, but let, let's give some specific ways to prepare the soil that will nurture our children's hearts. What are some specific ways.

[00:16:20] Leslie Corbell: We allow them time to explore. Mm. We allow them time to follow their interests, to just be in a space, be in the world, be outside in nature.

Mm-hmm. To be in God's creation. Children are so, they see things on their eye level and they see these small details and wonder at them, and so it's important that we give them time to do that and not just rush them through those small moments that are so important.

[00:16:45] Diane Matthews: Yeah, and so often in this world, they're just over structured.

You know, you think about all the sports, you know, we could go on and list, uh, so many things. And so I think it's a [00:17:00] part of what we are called to do is destructure some things for our children and let them just enjoy life. Yeah. And so that's, that's a part of us protecting and preparing the soil

[00:17:13] Leslie Corbell: for our children.

And I think, you know, we, I mentioned that other study briefly about the symptoms of a DH ADHD that were, were decreased whenever children were outside. As a parent, and I'm sure there's studies, I didn't look this one up. But as a parent, as a, as a teacher of teachers mm-hmm. We know that when children are over structured and over controlled, and adults crowd that too much that you start to see big behaviors.

Oh. Challenging behaviors because it's children need that to slow down and to rest and explore.

[00:17:42] Diane Matthews: It's contrary to way God made us. Mm-hmm. We are outdoor creatures and we need exercise and activities like physical activities not being structured and put in a box. Yeah. You know, so, yeah. Yeah. So we give our children what they need.

So let's talk about [00:18:00] weeding, which, you know, think about weeds. Weeds just kill. They wanna kill plants. That's what they do. They wanna starve them of their nutrition. So a question for us is, what are the weeds in our lives? You know, what are the weeds in our children's lives? And you know, we've talked about this so many times on our episodes, but.

Busyness, distractions, phones, social media. Could it be some of the lies that we've talked about today? You know, just over stimulus, over activity, even inviting too many friends into their lives. How do we pull those weeds out? So I think being aware of them, but then also praying, Lord, show me how can I remove those because they are choking.

Maybe you personally, or me personally, or our children. So pray and then ask the Lord, how can I do this?

How can I remove these from my life?[00:19:00]

With that, it goes tending. We tend the garden.

[00:19:04] Leslie Corbell: So what is soil? What does it need? Fertilizer plants need fertilizer, and so what is it? We really need God. We need God in our lives and we need to be. Looking to him, what ways can we bring him into our day? Hmm. And we talked about, you know, pointing to him, giving him thanks, but also things, you know, spiritual disciplines that actually will help us, whether it's quiet time, prayer, scripture, memory, resting, slowing down, all of those things, fertilize our lives and fertilize the

[00:19:37] Diane Matthews: lives of our children.

So preparing, weeding, tending. And the last one is watering. I mean, I have some plants outside that, especially with this hot weather that we've had, they need water every day, which is really a good reminder for all of us that we need our living water every day. Also, we need the living water every day.

And you know what? [00:20:00] So do our children. The question would be, are we pouring into our children living water? And we really can't do that unless we are receiving it. Can we pour into our kids the beauty of the simple of those beautiful slow moments? The truth is we can't unless we are experiencing them.

That would be the challenge, you know, to slow down, receive the living water and poured into our children every day.

[00:20:34] Leslie Corbell: So as you prepare, we tend and irrigate your family's soil this summer. Here are some reminders that will help you and your family flourish, and this will look different for every family. Number one, be playful with your children and let them explore and discover. And this is different from playing with them, but just be with them and see the wonder in creation.

Wonder in every moment. Share their curiosity and point [00:21:00] them to God. Number two, know that your number one job is to teach and train your children and to prepare that soil. So take the summer as an opportunity to cultivate the soil of your children to slow things down. Let go, as Diane said of that hurry and that need to go and do and be involved in stuff.

You don't have to feel every week with activities. Let your intention be to join children in their pace and walk alongside them. And I wanted to read one more scripture before we close in prayer. Because to me it's a beautiful picture of how we are to be in our day. Paul writes this to the Ephesians in five 19 through 20, and I just think if it can fill, we can see our days.

This is a picture of it. He urges them to make the most of every opportunity, and he says, speaking to one another with Psalms, hymns, and songs from the spirit. Sing and make music from your [00:22:00] heart to the Lord. Always giving thanks to God the Father, for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and just what a beautiful summer if we can spend it like that.

[00:22:11] Diane Matthews: Lord, help us to focus on the joys of summer. Help us make wise choices with this extra time you have given us with our children this summer. Make it clear about what we can limit, eliminate. Or add to our family times to slow down and love you and our children. Well, we ask this in Christ Jesus' name. Amen.

[00:22:39] Leslie Corbell: Thanks for listening. Check out our Instagram at the Mind of a Child Pod, or you can email us at the Mind of a Child podcast@gmail.com.