The Mind of a Child

[00:00:00] Leslie Corbell: Hello, I'm Leslie Dudley Corbell. And I'm Diane Doucet Matthews. Welcome to The Mind of a Child

[00:00:14] Leslie Corbell: We're so glad you've joined us today. In this part two of loneliness and the need for community, we're gonna pick up where we left off. We were talking about the purpose of loneliness, and Diane, why don't you kind of

[00:00:26] Diane Matthews: set that up for us? What we ended with was a little acrostic, if we're gonna call it that.

[00:00:32] Diane Matthews: It's race, R-A-C-E, and R stands for remember that being lonely is normal. A, admit you need God's presence, you need God. And the C is community or church, and it's designed to help you, us, all of us. And then E, encourage others that may be lonely. Number [00:01:00] one, the remember it's normal. In Genesis, God said, "It is not, it is not good for man to be alone."

[00:01:08] Diane Matthews: That was before sin even entered the world. So loneliness was there before sin, so it's not sinful to be lonely. So there is a purpose in loneliness. You know, God

[00:01:20] Leslie Corbell: created us with a void.

[00:01:21] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:01:21] Leslie Corbell: A void that needed to be filled with something. The purpose that it serves, twofold: one is to drive us to seek God, and then the second piece of it is, you know, you, we talked in that part one about the cortisol that floods into our body- Mm

[00:01:38] Leslie Corbell: that is designed to cause it to spring into action or to move. And so one of those things is to move towards God, but the other one is also to reach out to others. Mm. To find other people. So even the cortisol itself is not a bad thing. It's designed to move us.

[00:01:55] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:01:56] Leslie Corbell: So it's when it stays in one place and we don't move [00:02:00] and we d- isolate, that it becomes a chronic, persistent problem.

[00:02:04] Leslie Corbell: So every- God has designed our bodies, our minds, our spirits to seek Him and to seek others. Mm. And I think the scriptures are very clear about that. You even talked about the, our fathers of the faith- Oh ... who experienced loneliness.

[00:02:18] Diane Matthews: Yes. Uh-

[00:02:19] Leslie Corbell: Abraham

[00:02:21] Diane Matthews: Yeah, experienced deep, deep loneliness. A- Abraham, Moses, David, Hannah, you know, when she was praying, she didn't have a child.

[00:02:29] Diane Matthews: Paul, John, all of them- Mm-hmm ... experienced great loneliness. Jesus. Jesus. I mean, He was the epitome of that. Yeah. I mean, everybody deserted Him. Yeah.

[00:02:39] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. And alone on the cross. Alone on the- Betrayed. Yes, I mean, we, it, the loneliness is to drive us to God and to seek others, so it has a very clear purpose.

[00:02:48] Leslie Corbell: So we shouldn't be afraid of loneliness-

[00:02:51] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm ...

[00:02:51] Leslie Corbell: but recognize it- Yes ... and what it's telling us to do.

[00:02:55] Diane Matthews: And I think if that truth gets out to more and more people, they won't be [00:03:00] afraid of it, and they won't, um, like, you know, run and isolate, and it'll be, you know, "Okay, this is okay that I feel this way." You know?

[00:03:08] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. I just, I need to, like, remember that it's normal. Yeah. You know, admit that I need God. C, community. Mm-hmm. And E, encourage. Do the race. Do the

[00:03:19] Leslie Corbell: race. We're in a race. And I think it's important that we find Christ-centered community.

[00:03:24] Diane Matthews: Mm, absolutely.

[00:03:25] Leslie Corbell: Because again, when we're, with, when we think about loneliness, we can be in a room of crowded people- Mm and still feel alone.

[00:03:33] Leslie Corbell: That's right. And I think it's important to think about the community that we reach out to. How is it really helping fill that void that I'm experiencing?

[00:03:43] Diane Matthews: Yeah, because we talked about that the, uh, the, the key is lacking connection, you know? Mm-hmm. And we've, like you just s- said so perfectly, we need to be connected, uh, have a relationship with God- Mm-hmm

[00:03:56] Diane Matthews: and be connected with other believers. [00:04:00] So it's that connection.

[00:04:02] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm. And one of the things I wanna talk about, 'cause in our, in our, in our reel that we've mentioned a couple of times, we've referred to these things as distractions.

[00:04:11] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:04:11] Leslie Corbell: That s- and the reason we called these outings and other considerations distractions is because sometimes they can distract us from what it is we're really seeking.

[00:04:23] Leslie Corbell: They can, we can think that's what we're seeking, but then come up feeling empty, that void still isn't full. And so we're gonna talk a little bit more about that. But before we go into that, one of the distractions I wanna talk about is sometimes this void or this feeling of loneliness or this, um, dissatisfaction, we can sometimes call it is, "I need a break."

[00:04:45] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:04:46] Leslie Corbell: And sometimes we really do just need a break. Mm-hmm. I just need to take a moment to breathe. I need some connection with my peers. I would just wanna kinda go out and just relax for a minute, just talk to my friends. And that's, that's not a bad thing. Mm-hmm. But, uh, [00:05:00] before we go into this, though, I just wanna pause for a moment and speak to moms, and this may not be you.

[00:05:06] Leslie Corbell: It may not be you in this season. It may never have been you. Maybe it was you in a pr- a past season. When we have moms that say, "I need a break," and it's frequent- Mm-hmm ... it's, it's, happens weekly Getting that break with peers or doing things can sometimes distract you from looking at what's really driving that.

[00:05:29] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm. And so I just wanna encourage moms to stop and think a minute. You know, if, if... Is there marital strife? Is there some financial pressure? Is there some other need with this loneliness? Yeah. Maybe some family problems that are happening, that you feel disconnected from family, that you're grieving.

[00:05:49] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. And so we just really want to pray over those things, seek help from someone. Mm-hmm. Talk to a counselor, talk to a past- a- Yeah ... a [00:06:00] counseling pastor, talk to a trusted family members, friends, and spend some time looking at that. Not seek, continue to seek outings with friends- Yeah ... or other activities that might distract you from ever looking cl- more closely at that.

[00:06:19] Diane Matthews: Just self-evaluating, you know, asking the Holy Spirit to reveal maybe a blind spot- Mm-hmm ... or something, you know, that you, you wanna get away, you wanna get away, you know, just gotta get away- Yeah ... for a weekend or just even for an hour.

[00:06:33] Leslie Corbell: But then- Because then- Oh, I'm sorry ... it doesn't, because I think of that, the, the, the danger of that is, is that you're missing out on all the blessings of motherhood.

[00:06:40] Leslie Corbell: Something is preventing you from fully experiencing the blessings and joy that really are there-

[00:06:45] Diane Matthews: Right ...

[00:06:46] Leslie Corbell: because something else is overwhelming or you, or troubling you. And so that's why I just encourage moms to take, really investigate that and lay that at their, like saying pray and let the Holy Spirit reveal it to you, so that you're not robbed.

[00:06:59] Leslie Corbell: Right. So that the [00:07:00] enemy doesn't rob you of these joys and blessings that are right there for you. That's

[00:07:04] Diane Matthews: great. Yes. I think- Yeah ... that's wise. Uh, but then on the flip side, sometimes you really do need a, a, a break or just- Mm-hmm ... to get away for a second. 'Cause I know for me, personally, I needed sometimes just to physically have a, an, an hour or two just to take a nap.

[00:07:24] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. You know? And a lot of times, I, well, I know personally for me, I didn't have family to call- Mm ... like my mom or my, you know, somebody. "Can you come on over so I can take a nap?" So ask for help, call a friend, do something if you're physically exhausted. Mm-hmm. You know, because then that can mess with your mind.

[00:07:43] Diane Matthews: I know it could for me if I didn't have my rest. So sometimes it's, it's necessary- Mm-hmm ... to have those breaks. But just to, to, you know, listen carefully to your heart and ask the Lord to show you your heart, because sometimes- Mm-hmm ... if it's constant, like you were [00:08:00] saying, then there's probably something else there.

[00:08:02] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. Also, if you're using a Mother's Day Out program and you're out, you have it one or two days, Mother's Day Out, that's a good way to use that time to have your you know, break- Mm-hmm ... or your time away. Uh, I know you wanna get errands done, but it's also a time where you can just stop and have a quiet time or read a devotional even while you're in the car.

[00:08:27] Diane Matthews: I was very known for taking a nap in the car or parking someplace in the park or taking a walk or, you know, uh, just having just my time or my time with the Lord while the kids were in Mother's Day Out. So use that time wisely. Also, this was interesting. 56% of American women work outside the home. So that, that's a, a pretty large number.

[00:08:56] Diane Matthews: And so I was thinking, for those women, um, [00:09:00] they're gone a lot to begin with. So to use the lunch break or just their breaks at work to have that time away or that break that they need- Mm-hmm ... to, um, even maybe do a little devotional or, you know, whatever they need to do the homework on themselves. What do I really need?

[00:09:19] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. Instead of, um, getting home and they're wiped out and they're exhausted, and then they wanna go again. You know? Mm-hmm. To just think through and do your homework. And then, you know, I was thinking of another getaway, um, just a reality check on our culture. There's so many of, events that have gotten so big and so grandier, that it takes so much of our time, energy, money, and, uh, work.

[00:09:54] Diane Matthews: I mean, we've seen it, we've talked about it. Um, and I've been involved in it, you know? [00:10:00] But like for instance, um, baby showers, kids' birthdays, bachelorette parties, um, and we could name more, but they're so over the top and consuming. So I think something like that is, um, a question to ask ourselves is, how do we feel when it's over?

[00:10:24] Diane Matthews: Or physically, how are we when it's over? Are we totally wiped out, exhausted, and we have nothing left to give our families? Or, or is it energizing for us? And I know personalities are, are in that too. Mm-hmm. But talk to your husband, uh, and ask him, uh, this, this proverb came to my mind thinking about this, and this is kind of a, not a gross proverb, but it's kind of something that you kind of go, "Ew."

[00:10:51] Diane Matthews: But Proverbs 26:11, it says, "Like a dog who returns to his own vomit, [00:11:00] so is a fool who repeats his foolishness and learns nothing from his past mistakes." So if you're doing all these things and you're totally exhausted I think that's a red flag for you to cut back and, you know, learn from it and stop or pull back and just, you know, re- rebound.

[00:11:27] Diane Matthews: Do something a little bit different. You know, my husband is a wise man, and he learns from other people's mistakes. I think they, that definition is, is being prudent. I'm not. I've always had to learn from my own mistakes, and I do it a couple of times, you know? But anyway, so just think through that to just try to learn from what you do and, and kind of pull back if you have to.

[00:11:56] Diane Matthews: Hey, real quick. I wanna let you know that Leslie and I made [00:12:00] something that we wish we had as young moms. It's a daily prayer calendar with a character trait, a scripture, and a prayer that you can recite over your children, your family, and yourself. All you have to do is go to the show description below, click where it says Prayer Calendar, answer a few questions, and we'll send it over to you absolutely free.

[00:12:25] Diane Matthews: We know that prayer changes things, and we're praying that this gift does the same for you

[00:12:35] Leslie Corbell: That's what we would encourage moms, encourage ourselves to do, is to, is to reflect and make changes- Right ... anywhere as needed. And you said something a minute ago about moms that work, and there are a lot of moms that work out of the house. And so th- as we talked about in our part one- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm ... that sometimes work itself can increase feelings of loneliness because you're not always really [00:13:00] socializing.

[00:13:00] Leslie Corbell: You're around people- Right ... but you're not necessarily socializing. So you mentioned doing your quiet time then. And so since the lunchtime is already a time that you're away from your family, and that would be a good time to do some sort of Bible study devotion, you might have a coworker who would enjoy doing that with you on, at the lunch break.

[00:13:19] Leslie Corbell: And so there is an opportunity there to-

[00:13:22] Diane Matthews: Right ...

[00:13:22] Leslie Corbell: to socialize with someone, have community with someone, have deep, meaningful community with someone and, and be drawing nearer to the Lord. And I think that's- I'm glad you said

[00:13:30] Diane Matthews: that because when I was thinking that, or when I said it- Mm-hmm ... just a few minutes ago, I thought, "You know, even our church offers a Bible study at different, um, places of business for people to come together- Yeah

[00:13:41] Diane Matthews: and have that during lunchtime." Because community, once again- Yeah ... you know, it's, it's so important. So yeah, that's a good one.

[00:13:48] Leslie Corbell: Yeah, my son's workplace does that. Ah. On Friday mornings they gather- I love it ... before the workday begins and do a Bible study. And so I think that's a- another, you know, a lunchtime would be easier for maybe for moms- Yeah

[00:13:59] Leslie Corbell: um, getting their [00:14:00] time- Than before-

[00:14:00] Diane Matthews: Right ... 'cause they're getting their kids ready, ah.

[00:14:01] Leslie Corbell: To school.

[00:14:02] Diane Matthews: Yeah.

[00:14:02] Leslie Corbell: But yeah, so you know, and you mentioned that there was another question from a, a listener- Oh, yes ... to the podcast about what distractions did we experience- Yes ... in the '90s.

[00:14:13] Diane Matthews: That's right. And that's a great question.

[00:14:14] Diane Matthews: That's exactly what she asked, "What were the distractions? Were they same, were they the same, or were they different with '90s moms?" And I said, "Well, some were the same as today. Um, but we didn't have social media or internet or a phone that was connected to us wherever we went." Mm-hmm. Or, uh, what were some other things that I said?

[00:14:36] Diane Matthews: Let me see so that I don't miss anything. Shopping online 24/7, takeout food on every corner, and the, the, the percentage of women that are working now, that, that wasn't as common. There were more stay-at-home moms. And information overload, you could get information at the push of a button. So those are some of the things that were different.

[00:14:54] Diane Matthews: But the same things, and so as, so, so I don't, um, forget some of them, the [00:15:00] some of the same things were, um- Well, to-do lists, busyness, phone calls, TV, news, materialism, comparison, lack of contentment, fears, anxieties, materialism, uh, hanging with friends, we still wanted to do that, shopping, vacations, decorating.

[00:15:19] Diane Matthews: You know, the fear of missing out. All those things were the same as when... as what people experience now, moms. But I would say whatever, you know, each individual's weak link is, that's what the bigger distraction is. So there, there are sames and there's differences. So I hope that cleared it up for, uh, the person that asked that question.

[00:15:44] Diane Matthews: Yeah, I, I would agree

[00:15:45] Leslie Corbell: with you when I think about the same types of things, the same kind of isolation, the busyness of the day- Yeah ... the pull of it. But like you're saying For me, one, some of the bigger differences [00:16:00] are- Yeah ... when I would go to the grocery store in the '90s, I would visit- Right ... with the checkout person.

[00:16:06] Leslie Corbell: That's right. You know? And, and I would get some social, uh, interaction just from seeing the same person at the grocery store every time I went. Yeah, you would get to know them. I would know her first name. Oh, totally. Yeah, I know. Angie. Hi, Angie. Yeah. How are the kids? You know, or how is your friend's dog?

[00:16:21] Leslie Corbell: Uh-huh. You know, you would, you would know more about them. Mm-hmm. That's right. You would know, you would know who your mailman was, and how, where, where they lived, and maybe my husband could come hunting on your family's property someday. That's right.

[00:16:32] Diane Matthews: That's

[00:16:32] Leslie Corbell: right. You know, you, you just tended to make more social contacts with people through normal daily living, and I don't really see that as the same.

[00:16:40] Leslie Corbell: There's, like you were saying, there's more ordering my groceries online and having them delivered to the house.

[00:16:45] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:16:46] Leslie Corbell: Not as much. Or when I go to, as I said before, when I go to the waiting room, instead of visiting with someone, I'm on my phone. Maybe my, when I'm in the checkout line, well, I'm gonna check myself out most stores.

[00:16:57] Leslie Corbell: Right. I go to Whole Foods, I don't stand in line to get [00:17:00] checked out. Yeah. I go check myself out. That's right. So there is a decrease in some social interaction that way. Major. So I can see that as a little difference.

[00:17:08] Diane Matthews: Major

[00:17:08] Leslie Corbell: decrease. Possibly. Yes. Which might then drive me to think that I need more social interaction outside of the home on a, in another way.

[00:17:16] Diane Matthews: Yes. Yes. I think those are good points. And I think the standard is different. The standards have changed. Um, and I'm gonna read this scripture too, 'cause this came to mind. I think because of the in- well, I'm, hold off on the scripture, but, um, just with the internet and, you know, all the social media, the s- the, uh, when I say the standard have, has changed, when we were, even before us, I mean, good was good, evil was evil.

[00:17:45] Diane Matthews: But it's so different now, even on TV. Like, listen to this verse. "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who s- uh, substitute darkness for light and light for darkness, who substitute bitter [00:18:00] for sweet and sweet for bitter." Is that not true in today's world? I mean, you, you watch the TV, and people are laughing at what is sin And en- engaging in what is evil.

[00:18:14] Diane Matthews: I mean, think of our entertainers, and I'm not gonna point my finger at all kinds of stuff, but standards are different nowadays too. Mm-hmm. You know? So, so that's a big distraction, just trying to figure out this culture's flip-flopped. Mm-hmm. You know? So on top of everything else, it's kinda thinking and being wise and, um, transforming our minds.

[00:18:39] Diane Matthews: Mm. You know, it's, it's a, it's a little bit more difficult to live, uh, righteously

[00:18:46] Leslie Corbell: and make wise choices. Yeah. And so that does kind of... You've kinda gotten us up to the point where, you know, loneliness does have a purpose. It is to s- drive us to seek God and to seek others' [00:19:00] encouragement. Mm-hmm. And there are many distractions out there- Yes

[00:19:04] Leslie Corbell: that contribute to loneliness and prevent us from actually doing the things that- Mm-hmm ... loneliness was supposed to point us towards. So let's talk a little bit more about that and the importance of community- Yes ... 'cause w- we've talked about, you know, 'cause of course we want to seek God first.

[00:19:18] Diane Matthews: Yes.

[00:19:18] Leslie Corbell: Absolutely. But that, that we are not alone in Christ.

[00:19:21] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:19:23] Leslie Corbell: But Jesus did set instructions for us in the New Testament about the church. That's right. And what is our role in the church. So the, the church and the community and the people, they are designed to encourage one othe- another. We are given distinct gifts- Right

[00:19:40] Leslie Corbell: spiritual gifts that we are to use to encourage others, to support others, to build them up in the church. And to hold one another accountable. Yeah. You

[00:19:48] Diane Matthews: know? So

[00:19:48] Leslie Corbell: yeah. So that is a, a big, important piece of it, and so I do wanna talk about that more. So what does the Bible say about the purpose of community?

[00:19:57] Leslie Corbell: And we've just looked up a couple of verses to [00:20:00] share- Mm-hmm ... with you all about this. So why, why do we have community? To glo- glorify God through Jesus Christ. And these are two that... It, it's just so wonderful how God does this. I mean, I'm, I'm m- in my church service on Sunday, Brad Wheeler, our pastor, pulls, "We're gonna start studying the Book of Philippians."

[00:20:20] Leslie Corbell: Well, what does he talk about? Uh- Koinonia. Yeah. Fellowship, the importance of. And I'm like, "Thank you." I love it. Thank you. Like, so I'm, I'm borrowing some of this from him because he pointed out in Philippians 1, just 1 through 11, I mean, there was just a couple of verses in there where we really talk about we are partakers of grace.

[00:20:39] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:20:40] Leslie Corbell: And that is a big part of community and of the why. Mm-hmm. Because we are all together in this and partakers of the grace that we have. We also are partners in the gospel.

[00:20:50] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:20:50] Leslie Corbell: That's a big why we are to be in community with others, so that we can share the gospel. Mm-hmm. So that we can keep one another accountable.

[00:20:57] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm. So that we can reach others and grow the church.

[00:20:59] Diane Matthews: That's [00:21:00] right.

[00:21:00] Leslie Corbell: So there are big whys as to why we have fellowship and community or koinonia.

[00:21:06] Diane Matthews: Yeah. I love it. I

[00:21:07] Leslie Corbell: love it. There's also a how. And Diane- Mm-hmm ... why don't you talk a little

[00:21:09] Diane Matthews: bit

[00:21:09] Leslie Corbell: about

[00:21:10] Diane Matthews: the hows? I love one another. Yeah, all the one anothers. I mean, you can Google that, and there's, I don't know, like, 50 one anothers, uh, to share the gospel, like you said, and to serve the needy.

[00:21:20] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. I mean, and just, uh, you know, uh, just for families to get together and singles to get together. It, I mean, there's so much there that, um, we talked about and we'll continue talking about the beauty of the church of God. I mean, it, you know, it's, it's just a wonderful thing. But just Hebrews 3:13, which I've already read, "Exhort one another every day as long as it is called today that none may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."

[00:21:52] Diane Matthews: When I was typing this in, I thought of the frog in the pot story. If you put a frog in a pot of [00:22:00] warm water and slowly increase the water, the temperature, you can boil a frog to death. It won't jump out

[00:22:10] Leslie Corbell: I did not know that

[00:22:10] Diane Matthews: Isn't that crazy? And that's like it... That's i- an example, and I've heard it from a pastor m- I don't know how many years ago.

[00:22:19] Diane Matthews: That's like a, a Christian leaving the church, leaving fellowship, and isolating themself alone. It's, it's... They eventually are so hardened by the deceitful of s- deceitfulness of sin, and they don't even know it. Mm. And that's like the frog who just gets fried in the boiling water. So it's, it's very important for us to be together and, and encourage.

[00:22:48] Diane Matthews: And so Colossians 3:12-17, uh, rebuke. The Word of God rebukes, corrects, exhorts, encourages. Um, and, you know, it says, "To do everything in the [00:23:00] name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God through Him, the Father." So I mean, there's just so many verses in the New Testament that just talks about community and doing things together and, um, loving one another.

[00:23:13] Diane Matthews: And discipleship, you know, discipleship, the older woman helping the younger woman. And oh, there's just so much there.

[00:23:26] Leslie Corbell: So we're talking about, you know, the importance of community and the importance of finding a faith-filled community that does allow you to share in the Gospel work. Now, we're not saying don't ever do a book club- ... or don't ever s- go with your friends to celebrate a birthday, don't ever do anything else outside of that structure.

[00:23:46] Leslie Corbell: But we would like to encourage you, what would it look like if you're at a birthday celebration with a group of your, your friends that you get together? How could you bring Christ into it? Mm-hmm. Because we want our fellowship to be centered [00:24:00] around the, the Gospel and the, and the grace that we're all, all partakers of, and to bring Christ into it.

[00:24:06] Leslie Corbell: So what would that look like? M- Would it be praying before the birthday party? Would it be witnessing, maybe, to a friend who is there who is n- outside the faith? You know, how could you bring that into these? I mean, I think that you'll find that when you do, you will enrich your, that, that feeling of community that you're seeking.

[00:24:28] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And y- and, and, and go a lot farther into filling that void that you're experiencing. That's

[00:24:33] Diane Matthews: right. I love that. And encourage and, and maybe look around and find somebody who you, uh, you know, ask the Lord to bring you to somebody- Mm-hmm ... who's maybe lonely, and encourage them, you know?

[00:24:44] Leslie Corbell: And yes, because I think sometimes, I mean, since loneliness is subjective, and so, you know, it, someone is, in their loneliness, they're, they're, they are the only ones that can be brought to Christ.

[00:24:58] Leslie Corbell: I mean, reach out to [00:25:00] Christ, come out of that loneliness. You're not gonna make someone lonely-

[00:25:02] Diane Matthews: Mm ...

[00:25:03] Leslie Corbell: but you can see someone who may be experiencing loneliness. Yeah. Right. But this is one thing, and I don't know, people may disagree with me on this, but I would just like to encourage people, this is something I've experienced, is that sometimes even within our church communities, Bible studies or women's studies or groups, we can, without meaning to, without intending to, we can be so comfortable in our groups that we've, we've made, that we can exclude others.

[00:25:32] Leslie Corbell: Mm. So I would almost encourage you, I'm, I'm leading a women's study this year. It's like I wanna be with a different study every year. Mm. A different group of young, of women, whatever the age, because I don't want to contribute to a clique.

[00:25:46] Diane Matthews: Oh, amen. Or ...

[00:25:47] Leslie Corbell: But we're all so comfortable being together. But if we can just kinda think about how could I- Expand my zone, maybe step out of my comfort so that I can bring in others who might be feeling lonely and [00:26:00] might not feel connected.

[00:26:01] Diane Matthews: Hmm. That's so, um, thoughtful- Mm-hmm ... and, uh, intentional, and it reminded me of, um, a lady who discipled me when I was just out of college. But, uh, she would, when we would go into service, she'd say, "Spot five people. Just ask the Lord- Mm-hmm ... to show you five people that you can go and introduce yourself to, and, you know, just say hello and tell them that, you know, God loves them."

[00:26:30] Diane Matthews: Yeah. Or, you know- Yeah ... some message that the Lord has for them today. Mm-hmm. And, you know, just be intentional about it, and not stay in your little comfortable- Yeah ... little cozy spot. So yeah, be intentional about it, and not stay in that same- Yeah ... little circle that's just so comfy.

[00:26:46] Leslie Corbell: And I think- Yeah

[00:26:46] Leslie Corbell: that's one of the reasons that why, you know, we have that command to love others-

[00:26:51] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm ...

[00:26:53] Leslie Corbell: as you love yourself. It's not love yourself so you can go love others. It's really love others.

[00:26:58] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:26:58] Leslie Corbell: Because God knows [00:27:00] that by loving others and seeing others and focusing on them and, and their need for companionship, He fills your need- Absolutely

[00:27:07] Leslie Corbell: for companionship, because then you've completed- That's right ... His love. And so I think that's just an important thing to keep in

[00:27:11] Diane Matthews: mind. That's good. Thank you. Thank

[00:27:13] Leslie Corbell: you. We als- we actually put together some questions, 'cause we talked about weighing that balance of community and how to... You know, once you get to be our age and you look back at your time that you spent- Mm

[00:27:24] Leslie Corbell: with people, how, how can you weigh that balance of family life, social life, community, church? And so we did put together some questions that we're just gonna read off here. that you can use to discern whether or not to do an outside activity. And they're questions for all of us, not just young moms. So the first one would, might be how does the outing glorify God, represent Jesus, or strengthen you

[00:27:51] Diane Matthews: or grow you in your faith?

[00:27:53] Leslie Corbell: Mm.

[00:27:54] Diane Matthews: Or how are you the day after the social outing? Or is your [00:28:00] body energized, able to tend to your responsibilities and your family, your mind alert, um, spiritual? Are you, uh, firm or strengthened in your faith? Mm-hmm. Those are good questions. I think it's good to do a little check- Yeah, yeah ... check come.

[00:28:16] Leslie Corbell: You know, and, and does the outing fill you up spiritually, or does it drain you?

[00:28:19] Diane Matthews: Mm, that's a good one. Learn from it, you know? Mm-hmm. What you're saying- Mm-hmm ... is learn, observe. Uh, how are you blessed by the outing? What would you give thanks for? And

[00:28:31] Leslie Corbell: how is your family blessed by the outing? What would you give thanks for?

[00:28:35] Diane Matthews: And after the event, weigh the balance. Are you glad you went? Was there something you missed at home that you wish you hadn't? Anything you would have changed going forward? And that's like that verse- Mm-hmm ... the dog that

[00:28:48] Leslie Corbell: revisits. And you had, and you had a good comment about that when we were talking about it, which was, you know, you had some times where you had a sitter 'cause Hank was, had something with- Yeah

[00:28:57] Leslie Corbell: a work-related thing to do, and so you had a sitter for the [00:29:00] children when you had a, an evening- Mm ... outing. And you would come home, and the children... I'm telling your story, I'm sorry. Oh, that's okay . But you would come home, and the children were not in bed. Their schedule was changed. They were off routine, and you had that.

[00:29:12] Leslie Corbell: But you could still look at that evening and think- Yes ... "Our family was blessed by this outing that I did." Mm-hmm. It's okay that they were off schedule.

[00:29:20] Diane Matthews: Right.

[00:29:20] Leslie Corbell: So we're not saying, "Oh, no, don't ever do" anything like that. There, but h- you weighed that balance. Right. And you realized that for your family- That's right

[00:29:27] Leslie Corbell: that evening was well spent.

[00:29:29] Diane Matthews: Yes. Even though- Yes ... things were not, you know, just so, uh, perfect, or I felt a little punished for being out there.

[00:29:37] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. It

[00:29:38] Diane Matthews: really wasn't. It was still a blessing.

[00:29:45] Leslie Corbell: God is the giver of all good gifts. Motherhood is a gift, it's a blessing. Community and the church is a gift and a blessing, and He's given each one of us spiritual gifts to pour into others in the church. [00:30:00] So know that you're partakers of the grace. Know that you're partners in the gospel. You have a mission and a mission field, so go out there and do the good work that you're doing.

[00:30:11] Diane Matthews: Lord, we thank you for these truths. We thank you for, um, community and just, uh, fellowship and, uh, friends in Christ that can remind us of the truth daily so that we're not hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Lord, we thank you for, um, your Holy Spirit that does the same thing. Uh, teach us as we go forward today to be, um, bearers of your good news, your gospel, and grace, and we pray all this in the name of Jesus.

[00:30:48] Diane Matthews: Amen.

[00:30:50] Leslie Corbell: Thanks for listening. Check out our Instagram at The Mind of a Child Pod, or you can email us at [00:31:00] themindofachildpodcast@gmail.com