The Mind of a Child

[00:00:00] Leslie Corbell: Hello, I'm Leslie Dudley Corbell. And I'm Diane Doucette Matthews, welcome to the Mind of a Child.

[00:00:14] Leslie Corbell: We're so glad you've joined us today, Diane and I are going to talk through the importance of living by faith and truth and not by feelings to let our feelings send us to God and let him search our hearts. The verse for our encouragement is Psalm 1 39, 23 24. Search me, oh God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts and see if there'd be any hurtful way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

[00:00:45] Diane Matthews: Ooh, that's a lot right there. And, uh, what we're gonna be talking about today also is, you know, feelings get so much attention, good, bad, positive, negative. Should we ignore them? Should we stuff [00:01:00] them? We can go on and on with that. Well, and the big one is how do we teach our kids to handle them properly?

[00:01:06] Diane Matthews: And then I think even bigger than that is. Is there really a right way to handle feelings?

[00:01:12] Leslie Corbell: Those

[00:01:13] Diane Matthews: are

[00:01:13] Leslie Corbell: so Leslie, those are all good questions, aren't they?

[00:01:16] Diane Matthews: Lots of questions to start with.

[00:01:18] Leslie Corbell: So we have to think about feelings. Mm-hmm. And realize that basically all feelings give give us information. Mm-hmm.

[00:01:23] Leslie Corbell: They help. It helps form our perception of an event. It also reveals, oh, this is something I think we need to think about. It reveals something about our heart.

[00:01:34] Diane Matthews: Mm.

[00:01:34] Leslie Corbell: And what it reveals about our heart. Can either. Point us to God or show us that we need to reorient ourselves to God.

[00:01:46] Diane Matthews: That's so good.

[00:01:47] Leslie Corbell: It's and, and not ourself and not the world.

[00:01:50] Leslie Corbell: And I think that's a trap we sometimes fall into. We follow these feelings and we orient ourselves to ourself, or we orient ourselves to the world. [00:02:00] But really these feelings are serving a huge, they're a huge gift. To help us orient back to God.

[00:02:08] Diane Matthews: Wow, that's great. And you know, I was gonna follow up because when you first said pointing us to God, I was gonna say, okay, explain that.

[00:02:14] Diane Matthews: But you've explained it a lot. Um, so good feelings of gratitude, joy, happiness can all be rolled up to God. Was there anything else you wanna add onto that?

[00:02:25] Leslie Corbell: I, I, I think what's important to say that, you know, we can find some, sometimes today, that people want to follow the feelings and, and hold those up as truth.

[00:02:34] Leslie Corbell: This is the truth. This is my truth. This is my feeling and want other people to, to see that uhhuh as truth. And so I think it's important that we always bring it up to, uh, and measure it against God's word and understand rightly. Because we do need God's truth to rightly perceive, and this is, that's what we're talking about, perception.

[00:02:56] Diane Matthews: Hmm.

[00:02:56] Leslie Corbell: Um, and we need wisdom from God to do so.

[00:02:59] Diane Matthews: Yeah. [00:03:00]

[00:03:00] Leslie Corbell: Talking about how that works out, then you mentioned the good feelings of gratitude. You know, when we have those good feelings, that helps orient us to God, we give thanks to him. For that good moment that we just experienced with great gratitude. But it can also then, let's say if we have unrighteous feelings of anger, or even let's stick with happiness.

[00:03:22] Leslie Corbell: Let's say I am feeling happy because I'm rejoicing in someone's downfall.

[00:03:27] Diane Matthews: Right?

[00:03:27] Leslie Corbell: You know, that's, that's a happiness that you'd wanna pull out and measure it against scripture. Is this, is this a right feeling? Well, no,

[00:03:36] Diane Matthews: no. I mean, yes. No, no, no, it's not. But we do need to measure it. That's what I meant.

[00:03:41] Leslie Corbell: Yeah.

[00:03:41] Diane Matthews: Yeah. That was,

[00:03:43] Leslie Corbell: yeah. Same with anger. Uhhuh. Is this an anger that is a righteous anger or is it an anger that's revealing something in me that I am selfishly holding onto? Right. Or bit with bitterness holding onto. Then I need to repent, having, and. [00:04:00] Worship the Lord.

[00:04:02] Diane Matthews: Yeah. It just shows you what do you worship?

[00:04:04] Diane Matthews: You know, feelings can show you what you worship and where your heart is. Mm-hmm. Definitely. Yeah, those, that's great. And God has a lot to say about how we handle our feelings. Um, we are, you know, it's what we're thinking a lot of times. It shows us what we're thinking. I love this verse. This verse is so clear.

[00:04:22] Diane Matthews: Proverbs 23 7, uh, for as he thinks in his heart. So he is, and also Romans 12, two, and do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. And that's what we think. So that you may prove what he, uh, what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect. So it's, it's once again what we're thinking.

[00:04:49] Diane Matthews: And then there's one more verse. Do you wanna read that? The Philippians four, eight? Yes. 'cause

[00:04:53] Leslie Corbell: four. I love this one. Yes, I love the book of Philippians, but Philippians four, eight. Paul tells us what to think on. Finally, [00:05:00] brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise.

[00:05:10] Leslie Corbell: Think about these things. Mm. So by the power of the Holy Spirit, our feelings can take on a new path. That's right.

[00:05:17] Diane Matthews: Now that, that

[00:05:18] Leslie Corbell: last thing,

[00:05:18] Diane Matthews: that's not that. No, no, no, no. You can, you could do that. That, that last sentence was definitely,

[00:05:25] Leslie Corbell: lemme lemme read that last sentence differently. So, Diane, we can see by the power of the Holy Spirit, our feelings can take on

[00:05:34] Diane Matthews: a new path,

[00:05:34] Leslie Corbell: a new path.

[00:05:36] Diane Matthews: Based on what we're thinking. Mm-hmm. You know, and so that's, that's the message of the scripture about feelings. Uh, it depends on what we think. So let's, let's continue by just, um, reviewing some truths about feelings. Just generic truths about feelings. We all, we all have the same feelings, but some are more tuned into some of the [00:06:00] feelings more than other of their feelings.

[00:06:02] Diane Matthews: So, uh, what's an example of that? So I could be more tuned into anger than maybe somebody else or more tuned into glad, you know, joy or than someone else. So it differs between person to person, but we all have the same feelings in our basket of humanness.

[00:06:25] Leslie Corbell: Well, and you sang that, and we'll put this in the show notes, but there's a book that I have been reading about anger and one of the chapters basically is.

[00:06:33] Leslie Corbell: Um, do you think you have an anger problem and turn the page and the rest of the chapter is, yes. We all have an anger problem in some way. Yeah. We all at times wish the world would go our way and we. Resist it. We become irritated, we become quiet, we become cold, we become angry loud. We may express it differently.

[00:06:57] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm. But essentially, we all at times struggle [00:07:00] with anger. So that's, I think that's what you're saying is Yeah. That we all experience these

[00:07:05] Diane Matthews: feelings.

[00:07:06] Leslie Corbell: Feelings maybe in different degrees. In different degrees. Yeah.

[00:07:09] Diane Matthews: Yeah. That's, that's great. And so another truth would be there's a reason for having feelings.

[00:07:16] Diane Matthews: And what we've already talked about is that point us to God. That's the bottom line. But it doesn't always do that. But that is, and then God created us with feelings and God has feelings. Mm-hmm. So we, you wanna let, let's read off, we'll take, go back and forth, but like the first one, God loves one John four, eight.

[00:07:39] Diane Matthews: Grief, Genesis six, six, and he's slow to anger, so he does have some. He exercises perfectly anger, righteous anger. Psalm seven 11,

[00:07:52] Leslie Corbell: joy Zephaniah three 17.

[00:07:54] Diane Matthews: Compassion. Psalm 1 35, 14,

[00:07:58] Leslie Corbell: and the hatred of [00:08:00] evil. Proverbs six 16 through 17.

[00:08:03] Diane Matthews: Yeah. So he has, I mean, he's got feelings and he's given us Yeah, the gift of feelings also.

[00:08:09] Leslie Corbell: And so I wanna just kind of expand on one little thing. I wanna state this, is that our, when we talk about the purpose of our feelings, pointing us to God, they really do, even if they're, and so that's kind of what we're getting to the heart of. Even. It's a feeling that's taking us away from God. The purpose of that is to reveal it in our heart.

[00:08:32] Leslie Corbell: So that's why we wanna talk about following these feelings, to reveal it in our heart what we need to either repent of, ask forgiveness for, or what we're needing the holy what we're being convicted of, that the Holy Spirit needs to change

[00:08:45] Diane Matthews: because they can be broken.

[00:08:47] Leslie Corbell: Yeah, because it's that goal. So it may reveal something very uncomfortable in you.

[00:08:53] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm. But that's to point you to God.[00:09:00]

[00:09:02] Diane Matthews: Feelings can be broken and lead us astray. So let's, let's visit that for a little bit.

[00:09:08] Leslie Corbell: And I think that's what we were talking about with either a righteous feeling or an unrighteous feeling. We can be very selfish with our feelings. Mm-hmm. And with our anger where we are. Focus more on what it is we want in this world rather than God's will.

[00:09:21] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:09:22] Leslie Corbell: Maybe what our needs over someone else's needs. Mm-hmm. We lose compassion. Mm-hmm. Become angry instead. So, yeah. So just as our human nature was broken at the fall, so are our feelings broken?

[00:09:34] Diane Matthews: That's right. Genesis three changed it all the fall, you know, and then the world, the flesh and the devil is working against.

[00:09:41] Diane Matthews: Um, just the, the, the beauty that the Lord had intended for this world to have. So yeah. Brokenness ended the world, but thanks be to God Yeah. For Jesus and redeeming us. Huh. But we still are easily deceived and our hearts can be [00:10:00] led astray, and we choose foolishness. Mm-hmm. So, um, yeah.

[00:10:05] Leslie Corbell: So we need help.

[00:10:05] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm. We need help. Yeah. Every day, um, our guide should be God in his word.

[00:10:10] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:10:11] Leslie Corbell: Our love and worship of him, the Holy Spirit. Love for others and not self.

[00:10:18] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. And other mature Christians. I love the, the proverbs and it's so common, you know, iron sharpens iron. And this was real interesting. We're studying proverbs on Tuesday morning and one of the girls in the class said that, um, her dad was sharpening and he said, come watch this.

[00:10:35] Diane Matthews: He was sharp sharpening iron, and iron sparks were flying everywhere. And he said, you know, this is what happens when, uh, mature Christians. You know, sharpen another Christian. Sometimes there's conflict and there's sparks flying, but it's, it's for them to grow close to the Lord, even if it's, there's sparks, you know?

[00:10:56] Diane Matthews: So I thought that was a good illustration. Mm-hmm. So, yeah. Very good. We need that [00:11:00] too. We need help.

[00:11:00] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. Yeah. We want, we want that help. Mm-hmm. We should desire that help. Mm-hmm. It may not be fun in the moment.

[00:11:08] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:11:08] Leslie Corbell: But it does give great glory to us. And it, and it actually does become a, a very Yeah.

[00:11:12] Diane Matthews: We're holding them up to truth.

[00:11:14] Leslie Corbell: Yeah.

[00:11:14] Diane Matthews: Yeah.

[00:11:16] Leslie Corbell: You know, we are called to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and that's second Corinthians 10, five. And I, I think that is such a true, and that, and that's something that we keep in mind when we're working with our children. On their feelings because we are wanting to find out what the thought is behind that feeling.

[00:11:32] Leslie Corbell: That's where we're really going with

[00:11:34] Diane Matthews: this. Yeah. We want to do it in and of ourselves, help the, you know, by the help of the whole spirit, but also do that for our children. Mm-hmm. Exactly what you just said. So why do we, I was getting ready to ask you Oh, speech to it. So why do we fixate on feelings? Why?

[00:11:51] Diane Matthews: Because we do.

[00:11:52] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. We, we really do. And I think that's, it's causing. Problems with people, it causes this pendulum swing to either we don't talk about [00:12:00] feelings or we talk about feelings too much. That's right. And so I, I think we began focusing on feelings because we didn't know what to do with them ourselves.

[00:12:09] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm. We didn't know how to respond to the behaviors. That were coming out of the feelings, maybe felt overwhelmed by those Yeah, by those feelings. Um, and without responding with compassion to feelings, I think parents would typically find themselves in power struggles with children. Mm-hmm. Or unnecessary conflict with their children.

[00:12:29] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:12:30] Leslie Corbell: And even broken or weak relationships because they weren't. Navigating these moments with their, those sparks flying that you described. They weren't navigating that. Mm-hmm. Very well. Um, but by only focusing on the feeling, we lost sight of the heart of the child, and we didn't teach them the truth.

[00:12:50] Leslie Corbell: Right. And lead them to the Lord. So point them to the Lord, which is what the feelings were designed to do.

[00:12:57] Diane Matthews: Yeah.

[00:12:57] Leslie Corbell: So we miss that part of

[00:12:59] Diane Matthews: it. Yeah. But it, [00:13:00] it's still fixating on the feeling.

[00:13:02] Leslie Corbell: Yeah.

[00:13:02] Diane Matthews: Or another reason to fixate on feelings nowadays is so like, when I grew up, we didn't even talk about feelings.

[00:13:11] Diane Matthews: It was just like blank slate. I mean, there was just not disgust in our family. So then growing up it was like, uh oh. We're feelings is a part of life. You know, it's not just anger. Mm-hmm. You know, you gotta develop your emotional health. Mm-hmm. And then it's like, okay, so how do I go about doing this? And so you want your children to be healthy, so it's a bigger subject.

[00:13:36] Diane Matthews: And so you overdo it, maybe not knowing how to do it. So then that's why you could fix on it too, because you didn't have it and so you overdo it. So that could be a reason too, you know? Um. So, yeah, and I'm sure there's other reasons too, but yeah, just kind of get stuck in that, just not knowing exactly how to do it.

[00:13:57] Leslie Corbell: So how there's the question then, how do you [00:14:00] balance this? And I think it's important to remember the visual to help children learn to submit their feelings to the Lord ourselves, help ourselves is to the visual I have it is that the feeling is just a window into the heart. It is not the point of the conversation that's right at all.

[00:14:18] Leslie Corbell: It's the window into the heart. So don't camp out on the feeling. You're basically pulling the feeling out. Entering into that door, that window, so constantly inquiring about the feeling can keep 'em focused on the feeling, can give unnatural weight to the feeling, can really cause you or anyone or the child to feel almost at a victim of the feeling

[00:14:42] Diane Matthews: right,

[00:14:43] Leslie Corbell: and be tossed and turned around on waves.

[00:14:46] Leslie Corbell: Um, be double-minded. I mean Yeah. It just becomes a chaos thing.

[00:14:50] Diane Matthews: And that's talked about in James Yeah. James chapter. I think it's one just about other issues, but just being tossed around. Mm-hmm. And then they, they get accustomed to [00:15:00] living in that feeling. Mm-hmm. And like you said, that's perfect description.

[00:15:03] Diane Matthews: They become a victim of the feeling.

[00:15:04] Leslie Corbell: And we, we've seen, we've, we've seen or experienced or had ourselves, the chaos. That comes from living from your feeling with your feelings as your guide

[00:15:14] Diane Matthews: and, and negative feelings. Mm-hmm. Being, being consumed by negative feelings. We've seen that. Yeah. I mean, I know families have had that situation, so Yeah.

[00:15:26] Diane Matthews: So how, and so do we break out of this?

[00:15:29] Leslie Corbell: Yeah, because, so the next piece is you go through that window and the reason you're going through that window is for teaching truth.

[00:15:35] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:15:36] Leslie Corbell: You're not. Going through the window of the feeling and staying there and then sharing that moment, you're going through the window to see, to teach the truth.

[00:15:44] Leslie Corbell: So you see, you see the behavior, and you. Either name it or acknowledge it, but you understand the child's perspective just in a flickering moment, that's your entry.

[00:15:56] Diane Matthews: Right.

[00:15:56] Leslie Corbell: It's like a, it's like a code. Yeah. Into the child. [00:16:00] And this, this gives us insight into their heart.

[00:16:02] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:16:03] Leslie Corbell: And so when we have that sight of their heart, then that's the time to share scripture and teach It's to, to, to measure it up against God's word.

[00:16:12] Leslie Corbell: To guide us in that moment, in this midst, in this time of trouble.

[00:16:15] Diane Matthews: Right. Um, I love the, uh, what you said. You just name it and then you put it aside and then you try to understand the child's perspective. And that's just like some discernment to enter into. Okay, so where do we go here now to. Pinpoint where to go to the heart.

[00:16:38] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. So it's like the, the feeling was just, it, it's just like, like you said, a a, what did you say? Like a key.

[00:16:45] Leslie Corbell: A key?

[00:16:46] Diane Matthews: Yeah. Or yeah. A key or a password. You know, it's just Okay. And then put it away.

[00:16:49] Leslie Corbell: Yeah.

[00:16:49] Diane Matthews: And then move on to solving it and moving to the heart. Don't linger there.

[00:16:56] Leslie Corbell: It's not a Oh, you seem sad.

[00:16:58] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. Oh, you're so sad. This is [00:17:00] such a sad moment. You know, just say you don't wanna, just, the sad wasn't the point. Right. The sad was what the child's belief was behind. Yes. The sad.

[00:17:08] Diane Matthews: Yes.

[00:17:08] Leslie Corbell: And there's, there's where we wanted do our work. I know you're making me

[00:17:11] Diane Matthews: sad right now. Just saying sad five times.

[00:17:14] Leslie Corbell: The

[00:17:14] Diane Matthews: point is like, no, no, no.

[00:17:16] Leslie Corbell: That's where we wanna bring God's word to. Yes. Is that moment behind that Yes. What's underneath it?

[00:17:27] Leslie Corbell: I'm going to give an example. Yes. I don't know. People ask us for examples all the time. Yes. I'm reluctant to give an example. I know because it's really not so much the words that you use. It is not,

[00:17:39] Diane Matthews: no.

[00:17:39] Leslie Corbell: I mean, it is the heart that you have when you're counseling your child because you are counseling them in this moment.

[00:17:47] Leslie Corbell: I don't care if it's because they wanted the Yellow Bowl and the yellow Bowls and the dishwasher, and they're upset about it. You are called to counsel them at that moment. Mm-hmm. But it's just a brief moment. It's just a, it would just be a very quick [00:18:00] moment that you're comforting them

[00:18:01] Diane Matthews: and there's so many character traits that you are.

[00:18:06] Diane Matthews: Counseling them too. You know, I mean, it is day in, day out and it's really such a beautiful privilege that you are the teacher that's trying to instill these different qualities into your, your child. So, yeah. That's great.

[00:18:23] Leslie Corbell: I'm gonna play out one. Mm-hmm.

[00:18:24] Diane Matthews: It

[00:18:25] Leslie Corbell: might not work in your, with your family the way that I'm doing it, but I'm, I'm gonna, I'm doing it in steps.

[00:18:30] Leslie Corbell: I just kind of wanna show the steps, but again, it's your heart. Yes. Behind this. That really makes a difference.

[00:18:37] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:18:37] Leslie Corbell: So let's say that your child is angry because their younger sibling is playing with her favorite toy. So you noticed your child stomped her foot and screamed at the other child?

[00:18:50] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:18:51] Leslie Corbell: So you say you seem angry. You wanted to play with that toy. Your sister wanted to play with it too. It's hard when you both wanna play with the [00:19:00] same thing. When you share with your toys, with your sister, you're giving something you enjoy to someone you love. Let's look and see what God says about this.

[00:19:08] Leslie Corbell: And so you open the Bible to two Corinthians nine, six through eight. The point is this, whoever so sparingly will also reap sparingly. Whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion for God loves a cheer cheerful giver.

[00:19:31] Leslie Corbell: And God is able to make all grace abound to you so that having all sufficiency and all things at all times you, you may abound in every good work. Now you might, if you have a very young child, you would not, you might just say, oh look, it says God loves a cheerful giver. And that would be the conversation.

[00:19:47] Leslie Corbell: That would be the teaching moment. I just went ahead and put it all in there, but then I would follow up. With my child. You know, God loves a cheerful giver. What would it look like to be a [00:20:00] cheerful giver when playing with your sister? And so if they respond cheerfully at that moment and smile or play together, then I would.

[00:20:11] Leslie Corbell: I would let them tell you what that's like for them in that moment. And then praise God for his wisdom in showing us how to live and rejo and have a good time with each other now. You might be listening and you're thinking, yeah. Right.

[00:20:26] Diane Matthews: Yeah. Right.

[00:20:27] Leslie Corbell: That many times in my work with young children, I found that when you simply notice that feeling and walk through that window

[00:20:35] Diane Matthews: mm-hmm.

[00:20:35] Leslie Corbell: Immediately, and capture the heart of the child, it, it actually really does soften their heart. Mm-hmm. That's all they needed to, to hear was to be heard, to be understood, to be in communication with you, and they actually would then smile. And join right along and do whatever it was that. They were being directed to do so.

[00:20:57] Leslie Corbell: It, if I were to walk in and just say, if, [00:21:00] when I saw the child scream and stomp her foot and say, well now God loves a cheerful giver, snap it out.

[00:21:06] Diane Matthews: Yeah. De mm-hmm.

[00:21:07] Leslie Corbell: I'm probably gonna have a little bit more pushback because I, I wasn't leading with compassion, I was leading with re with reproof. Yeah. And correction in that moment.

[00:21:17] Leslie Corbell: So I think that's where we have to be wise about when we reprove. When we lead with compassion

[00:21:25] Diane Matthews: and what you said at the very beginning, you're really, it's not the words, it's your heart.

[00:21:29] Leslie Corbell: Yes,

[00:21:30] Diane Matthews: you have a heart of compassion and teaching and leading them into truth. You know, it's not just the words. I think that was a perfect shell that you have presented.

[00:21:41] Diane Matthews: For people to follow.

[00:21:42] Leslie Corbell: And many times I, and you mentioned that, and I find that if I pray before I enter into the conversation, yes, maybe pray for the wellbeing of the person I'm getting ready to counsel, whether

[00:21:51] Diane Matthews: it's

[00:21:52] Leslie Corbell: an adult or a child. And. That helps me, that helps my heart. When my heart is oriented towards God in [00:22:00] that moment, then that helps me speak with more love and compassion.

[00:22:04] Diane Matthews: Yeah, and I, I think you're gonna list, or we are gonna list quite a few scriptures or traits that you can. Work through with your children in the show notes. Yes. So that's great. Yeah. Thank You'all. Excellent. Um, so when you can teach your children to pray, to give thanks, when they experience feelings, orient their heart, to worship God, to love God.

[00:22:25] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. And, you know, we talked about playing Christian music, uh. For us in the car having four children, I kept it on the Christian radio station or we had little, you know, Christian songs going, you know, what Goes in, comes out. So that's another way to, uh, teach those things constantly having Christian, um, songs.

[00:22:51] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. And words and scriptures going in.

[00:22:55] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. And I, I wanna, um, talk about, 'cause you may be, they may be [00:23:00] thinking, Hey, I, I can't counsel my children. I'm not a coun, I'm not a counselor.

[00:23:03] Diane Matthews: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[00:23:04] Leslie Corbell: And I wanna say, yes you are. Yes, there are the field of counseling. I'm not discrediting it at all. I'm not casting any, any, um, shade on, on the field of counseling or psychology.

[00:23:19] Leslie Corbell: But it's a relatively new.

[00:23:25] Leslie Corbell: Practice, renew practice, that the church has given up its role in counseling. God is the holy counselor, the wise counselor.

[00:23:33] Diane Matthews: The wonderful

[00:23:34] Leslie Corbell: counselor. The wonderful counselor. Yeah. The Bible is full of examples where he is counseling his people. And so I wanna point you to one book, the Book of Jonah in chapter four.

[00:23:45] Leslie Corbell: When Jonah has become angry and run away because he did not wanna preach to the Ninevites. Mm-hmm. And he did not want God to, to have pa be patient with them. So God comes straight out. Do you do well [00:24:00] to be angry and ask inquires about about that. He goes straight to the heart of what the problem is. The anger is the door.

[00:24:09] Leslie Corbell: They didn't camp out on anger. And, and he works, he works in Jonah mm-hmm. Throughout the whole chapter. So read that, um, just for one example, the Bible's full of them right. About how God counsels us. I love that as we start closing this part of it, so you know, you're noticing the feeling, you are sifting the feeling.

[00:24:31] Leslie Corbell: You're measuring the feeling against truth against scripture, and then you're praising God for that feeling and for whatever the end result, whether it was praising Thanksgiving for something good, or praising him for teaching you something in that moment.

[00:24:46] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:24:47] Leslie Corbell: It's hard when someone asks you how you, how are you right now?

[00:24:51] Leslie Corbell: We don't always have a good answer for that children, even more so.

[00:24:55] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:24:56] Leslie Corbell: Um, you'll notice even in the example of Jonah, Jonah, God. [00:25:00] Doesn't ask him how he is. He says, you do, you do well to be angry. So with children, sometimes we can throw our best guests out there. You seem angry, you seem frustrated. Go ahead and name it for them and then follow that.

[00:25:13] Diane Matthews: Hmm.

[00:25:13] Leslie Corbell: That little thread

[00:25:15] Diane Matthews: you think for just younger children? Or how about for an adult?

[00:25:20] Leslie Corbell: Well, when I had, even with my teenagers, I, if I said something like. Seems like some, seems like something's going on. Your body's telling me that something's going on.

[00:25:31] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:25:31] Leslie Corbell: You know, is there something you wanna talk about?

[00:25:34] Leslie Corbell: So I think any sort of, again, it's not the words that you say. Mm-hmm. It's just simply sometimes asking people how they feel. They won't always, they aren't always able to answer that. Mm-hmm. But if you throw something out and offer an open book maybe that they can talk into, it tends to pull. Things from them a little easier.

[00:25:55] Leslie Corbell: And

[00:25:55] Diane Matthews: that's so good. So let's move on to, um, like [00:26:00] noticing, uh, just little cues in people and how we should respond and maybe not avoid them. Mm-hmm. You know, we've talked about that. Just, uh, maybe in younger children, irritability, even a little older, maybe sarcasm or. Uh, jitteryness or, you know, there's so many things mm-hmm.

[00:26:24] Diane Matthews: That kids can do. Uh,

[00:26:26] Leslie Corbell: loss of eye contact, lack of interest in activities, hobbies,

[00:26:31] Diane Matthews: yeah. Isolation,

[00:26:33] Leslie Corbell: stomach aches. Other physical ailments that are vague saying,

[00:26:37] Diane Matthews: I don't like school anymore. Just anything that they come up with like that, that's different, you know? And even in adults, our friends, if it's, there's a change in behavior.

[00:26:48] Diane Matthews: Yeah. Like that.

[00:26:49] Leslie Corbell: And, and I'm glad you brought that up because I, I think the more observant we are. Mm. We don't have to always ask our kids every day, every moment if something happens. How do you feel about [00:27:00] that? How are you feeling?

[00:27:01] Diane Matthews: Yeah.

[00:27:01] Leslie Corbell: If we see something, if we're really paying attention to our children, we see something, that's when we ask questions, that's when we.

[00:27:10] Leslie Corbell: Really, again, open. Open

[00:27:12] Diane Matthews: that or move slowly and a little closer.

[00:27:15] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm.

[00:27:16] Diane Matthews: That's good. Ask for one-on-one time when we see a change of behavior.

[00:27:21] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm.

[00:27:26] Diane Matthews: So in all this with question, with feelings and not knowing what to do and feelings can be big, feelings can be confusing sometimes. How do we find

[00:27:38] Leslie Corbell: peace? What is so helpful is just to tune my heart to God, to look to him. Either in prayer, scripture reading, or even most recently when I was just feeling overwhelmed by events in the world and I just had the heaviness about me.

[00:27:56] Leslie Corbell: I didn't need to process those feelings. I just need to [00:28:00] look back to God. And so I played worship songs for three hours. I was driving and I listened and I praised God. I listened to a lot of, of, you know, behold Our God. I love that song. Psalm one 50. Just a lot of praising him for his goodness, his faithfulness, and really his, that he knows the story, he knows he is in control, and he knows how all this.

[00:28:23] Leslie Corbell: Will play out. I found so much comfort in that and, and so I think ultimately what we're hoping to do as we guide our children with their feelings and we really help reach their hearts, what we're all wanting to do is to get to a place where we walk by faith and not by sight. Through our feelings and through our days.

[00:28:44] Leslie Corbell: And so I just, I think in, in closing, I wanna encourage the parents, you know, God will always hear our feelings. There are, you know, we shouldn't be afraid of sharing them with him. We shouldn't be afraid of hearing our children share their feelings or even expressing [00:29:00] their feelings to us. You know, the Bible is full of books and verses that are all about how God is responding to our feelings.

[00:29:08] Leslie Corbell: There's the book of Lamentations. There are psalms, there are verses, there are examples. And God uses these feelings to expose something in us that once it's brought to the surface, draws us closer to him. And so again, our ultimate goal is that we walk by faith and not by sight through our feelings. And that's ultimately what we want our children to do.

[00:29:30] Leslie Corbell: So be of good courage as you walk through them.

[00:29:35] Diane Matthews: Lord, we just wanna praise you right now and thank you so much for that picture of our hearts before you clear and clean. In our feelings, in our emotions that you have given us and created for us to point us back towards you. We thank you for that, Lord, give us wisdom and discernment on how to do that with [00:30:00] our children.

[00:30:02] Diane Matthews: I pray that our words today will help. Parents do that with their children, and we just thank you for this time and it's in your precious son's name. Jesus we pray. Amen.

[00:30:19] Leslie Corbell: Thanks for listening. Check out our Instagram at the Mind of a Child Pod, or you can email us at the Mind of a Child podcast@gmail.com.